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Glossary of Terms (glossaries are outdated as soon as they are created, so take these definitions in context with the material presented and expect these definitions to change and expand):
Asexuality (Ace): “Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person experiences little to no sexual attraction to anyone and/or does not experience desire for sexual contact” (acesandaros.com, 2021).
Allosexual: “Describes people who are not on the asexual spectrum. They can have any romantic orientation, including aromantic.” (TAAAP.org, 2021)
Sex-Positive: Having a positive attitude towards sex in general.
Sex-Neutral: Having a neutral attitude towards sex in general.
Sex-Negative: Having a negative attitude towards sex in general.
Sex-Favorable: Having a positive attitude towards sex for oneself.
Sex-Indifferent: Having a neutral attitude towards sex for oneself.
Sex-Averse: Having a negative attitude towards sex for oneself.
Sex-Repulsed: Having a repulsion towards the idea of sex.
Nonlibidoist: “A person who does not have a sex drive, and hence does not experience sexual urges or desires (and in particular, does not masturbate).” (http://wiki.asexuality.org/Nonlibidoism)
Hypersexual: In Ace/Aro discourse this term is generally used to refer to someone with a very high libido. For Asexual people this may manifest as frequent masturbation or sex favorability with limited to no sexual attraction. It may also be used to refer to someone who is allosexual and has a very high libido.
Aromanticism (Aro): “Aromanticism is a romantic orientation, which describes people whose experience of romance is disconnected from normative societal expectations, commonly due to experiencing little to no romantic attraction, but also due to feeling repulsed by romance, or being uninterested in romantic relationships.” (AUREA FAQ on Aromanticism.org, 2021)
Limerence: A word coined by Dorothy Tennov for her book “Love & Limerence” to describe the experience of Romantic Attraction and Romantic Love.
Differentiated Attractions: A term used to make space for all sorts of attractions that are important to people and how they can intertwine.
Sexual Attraction: The intense urge to have sex with a specific person. Finding a person sexually appealing or “hot”.
Romantic Attraction: The intense need to have feelings of romantic love reciprocated.
Platonic Attraction: A desire to connect and bond with another person.
Amorous/Queerplatonic Attraction: A desire for close connection with another person that may include cohabitation and intimacy.
Amical Attraction: A “best friend” or “sibling” type bond.
Sensual/Affectionate Attraction: A desire for touch that may include hugging, cuddling, kissing, petting, and/or other contact.
Aesthetic Attraction: An appreciation or connection to the appearance or presentation of another person’s body, attire, and/or personal space.
Gender Attraction: A connection to a person based on characteristics of their gender(s) or lack there of.
Emotional Attraction: A desire to connect with another person over shared feelings.
Intellectual Attraction: A desire to share interests, thoughts, and intellectual connection with another person.
Non-concordant Orientation: Experiencing Sexual and Romantic Orientations differently. Examples: Heteroromantic Asexual, Homoromantic Bixesual, Aromantic Allosexual.
Microlabel: “A more specific label under a broader identity label.” (TAAAP.org, 2021)
Grey – Experiencing Sexual/Romantic Attraction rarely, weakly, only under certain circumstances, or being “between.”
Abro/Flux – Whether or not the person experiences Sexual/Romantic Attraction fluctuates along the spectrum. May be random, may wax and wane, may be cyclical.
Demi – Needs an emotional connection in order to access Sexual/Romantic Attraction.
Sapio/Noeti – Needs an intellectual connection in order to access Sexual/Romantic Attraction.
Fray – Experiences Sexual/Romantic Attraction to people they don’t know well and the attraction fades or disappears abruptly as they get to know the person.
Recipro – Experiences Sexual/Romantic Attraction only when the other person is sexually/romantically attracted to them too.
Litho/Akoi – Experiences Sexual/Romantic Attraction or likes the idea of engaging in sexual/romantic activities in theory, but that fades or disappears abruptly if the attraction is reciprocated or if theory becomes reality.
Auto – Experiences Sexual/Romantic Attraction towards themselves.
Cupio – Does not experience Sexual/Romantic Attraction, but are Favorable towards the idea of a Sexual/Romantic relationship.
Apothi – Does not experience Sexual/Romantic Attraction and are Repulsed by the idea of Sexual/Romantic relationships.
Placio – Enjoys performing Sexual/Romantic acts for others, but does not want to receive them.
Iamvano – Enjoys receiving Sexual/Romantic acts, but does not want to perform them for others.
Aego – May enjoy fantasizing about Sexual/Romantic activities or enjoy porn or erotica, but does not want to actually participate or the fantasies may be of other people and disconnected from themselves.
Ficto – Only experiences Sexual/Romantic Attraction and fantasies about fictional characters.
Alloromantic: “Describes people who are not on the aromantic spectrum. They can have any sexual orientation, including asexual.” (TAAAP.org, 2001)
Amatonormativity: “This consists in the assumptions that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types.” (Elizabeth Brake, https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/)
Singlism: “Singlism is the stigmatizing of adults who are single. It includes negative stereotyping of singles and discrimination against singles.” ~ Bella DePaulo
Allonormativity: The assumption that all people do or can experience sexual and romantic attraction.
Heteronormativity: “Refers to the assumption, belief, and expectation that people are attracted to people of the “opposite” binary gender and that this attraction is the “default” or “norm.” It is predicated on the belief in the gender binary and involves the base assumption that people are cisgender and perisex. People who are (both) heterosexual/romantic experience straight privilege, and their relationships are institutionally upheld. However, heterosexuality when combined with aromanticism is non-normative due to intersection, as is heteromanticism when combined with asexuality. Straight aros and aces therefore do not experience the same privilege – their access to
straight privilege is contingent on the denial and erasure of their aspec identity.” (TAAAP.org, 2021)
Gatekeeping: “An attempt to police what identities are ‘allowed’ in and can access LGBTQIA+ resources, such as mental health services, safe sex education/protection, space in LGBTQIA+ shelters, and many more.” (Kit Havoc - https://www.sicknotweak.com/2016/09/queer-enough-gatekeeping-lgbtqia-community/) Gatekeeping can also come from within Ace/Aro spaces where individuals attempt to tell others that their labels are not valid because of their own reasons and definitions.
Mononormativity: “The assumption that romantic and sexual relationships can only occur, or are only
normal, between two monogamous partners.” (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mononormativity)
Compulsory Sexuality: “The assumption that everyone experiences sexual attraction, and that everyone should desire sex and partake in it. Compulsory sexuality puts (usually heterosexual) relationships at the centre of the ideal human experience. It also includes the idea that romantic relationships must include sexual activity. Closely related to amatonormativity.” (http://www.oulgbtq.org/acearo-spectrum-definitions.html)
Sexusociety: Coined by Ela Przybylo and C.J. Chasin in their work “Crisis and Safety” to describe how “unlike the sexual world which is ‘out there,’ sexusocity is everywhere, it is within us, it is us.”
Testimonial Injustice: A kind of Epistemic Injustice as defined by Miranda Fricker to describe “unfairness related to trusting someone's word. An injustice of this kind occurs when someone is ignored, or not believed, because of their sex, sexuality, gender presentation, race, disability, or, broadly, because of their identity.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epistemic_injustice)
Hermeneutical Injustice: A kind of Epistemic Injustice as defined by Miranda Fricker to describe “Occurs when someone's experiences are not well understood — by themselves or by others — because these experiences do not fit any concepts known to them (or known to others), due to the historic exclusion of some groups of people from activities, such as scholarship and journalism, that shape the language people use to make sense of their experiences.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epistemic_injustice)
Books about Asexuality, Aromanticism, and related works available in my Bookshop:
Ace/Aro Activists and Educators:
Ev’Yan Whitney (they/them) - Sexuality Doula – www.evyanwhitney.com - IG: @evyan.whitney, TikTok: @evyan.whitney, Podcast: Sensual Self
Ashabi Owagboriaye (she/they) – Ace Sex Educator and Therapist – IG: @_aceingrace_
Asexual Memes – Content Creator – www.asexualmemes.com, IG: asexualmemes.tiktok, TikTok: asexualmemes
SHEAUXTIME Collective Inc. – Artists & Ace Activists – www.sheauxtime.com – IG: @sheauxtime, Twitter: @sheauxtime, TikTok: @sheauxtime, FB: SHEAUXTIME
Yasmin Benoit (she/her) – Ace/Aro Activist and Public Figure – IG: @theyasminbenoit, Twitter: @theyasminbenoit, TikTok: @theyasminbenoit
Cody Daigle-Orians (they/he) – Ace Dad Advice – www.acedadadvice.com – IG: @acedadadvice, Twitter: @cdaigleorians, TikTok: @acedadadvice, Youtube: AceDadAdvice
Dr Pragati Singh (she/her) - Based out of Delhi, India - Founder of Indian Aces and the PanACEa Conference - https://drpragatisingh.com/
Coyote – Community Elder and Historian - https://theacetheist.wordpress.com/
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